Bridge Builders Tell the Truth

Bridge Builders Tell the Truth
Philemon 1:17-22 (Week 5)

Take your Bible and turn one last time to the little book of Philemon.

This is Paul writing not as “Apostle with authority,” but as “a prisoner of Christ Jesus.” He calls Timothy “brother,” Philemon “fellow laborer” and “brother.” Onesimus, Philemon’s runaway slave, had gotten in trouble in Rome, ended up in prison beside Paul, came to faith, and now is heading home carrying this letter. Paul’s request is bold: receive Onesimus no longer as a slave but as a beloved brother.

Let’s read the whole letter again together… [read Philemon aloud]

Pray: God, you are loving and faithful. Break our hearts for what breaks yours and use us to extend your kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. Convict us today to become a person who obeys, forgives and restores.  Lead us in this life to live for you and not ourselves. - Amen

Today, we finish in verses 17-22. Here are five steps Paul models to build bridges and bring reconciliation:

1. PUT YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE (vv. 17-20)

We love saying, “Whew, glad I dodged that mess!” We think avoiding conflict is maturity. Paul says the opposite. “If you count me as a partner, receive him as you would me.” Paul steps into both pairs of shoes—Onesimus’s and Philemon’s. He refuses to stay on the sideline. Being in the middle is uncomfortable, but God placed this letter in the Bible because He hates broken relationships between His children. Question: Does it grieve the heart of God when two believers are not right with each other? Absolutely! What He wants more than anything is for someone to care about that as much as He does. 2 Corinthians 5:18 – He “gave us the ministry of reconciliation.” Your role: be reconciled to God and help reconcile others to each other.

Common objections: 

• “It’s not my problem!” → That’s a worldly, not Christ-like attitude. Yes, you are your brother’s keeper. 

• “Who am I to judge?” → Jesus said don’t judge motives or eternal destiny, but we absolutely must judge actions. It’s not judgmental to say, “You two have a problem—let’s fix it.”

2. EXPRESS WILLINGNESS TO SHOULDER THE DEBT (vv. 18-19) 

Paul anticipates Philemon thinking, “Receive him like I’d receive you? Paul, you’d never rob me and run!” So Paul says, “If he owes you anything, charge it to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand—I will repay.” He literally takes the pen from the scribe and writes in big letters (probably because of his bad eyes) so Philemon knows he’s serious.

Application: To be an agent of reconciliation you will often have to absorb some of the hurt, the offense, or the cost yourself. In broken marriages, families, or friendships, someone has to carry the weight of the injury so the other can be free to forgive. That’s exactly what Jesus did for us on the cross—He shouldered the entire debt. We are never more like Christ than when we do the same for others.

3. APPEAL ON THE BASIS OF FRIENDSHIP (v. 19) 

Paul cashes in every relational coin he has: “Not to mention that you owe me your very self” (you came to Christ through my ministry). He’s willing to spend all the equity in their friendship—not for himself, but for Onesimus. Real Christian friendship is rare. False friends say “live and let live.” Real friends say, “I love you too much to let you stay wrong.”

Proverbs 27:6 – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” If you’ve never lost a friend over speaking truth, you may not have practiced real biblical friendship yet. It will cost, but truth and righteousness must sit on the throne, not the relationship.

4. BRING THE ISSUE UNDER THE LORDSHIP OF CHRIST (v. 20) 

“Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.” Paul repeats “in the Lord/Christ” for emphasis. Translation: “Philemon, who’s really in charge of your life—your hurt or King Jesus?” Bridge-builders always drag the conversation back to the lordship of Jesus. When someone says, “I just need to pray about it” after you’ve shown clear Scripture, offer to pray right then: “Lord, is it still important to obey Your Word? Amen. Your turn.”

5. HAVE CONFIDENCE IN THEIR OBEDIENCE (v. 21) 

“Confident of your obedience, I write knowing you will do even more than I ask.” Paul isn’t confident in Philemon; he’s confident in the Holy Spirit’s work inside Philemon. Challenge people to obey, then trust God to soften, convict, and lead them.

Invitation:

How many of you want to be bridge-builders? It starts with being under authority yourself. Paul was under Christ’s authority. Philemon was under Paul’s. The whole reconciliation process worked because they understood biblical authority.

Do we?

This invitation is to set out to Do the Word… We must not be satisfied to only  hear the word... but we must live it out.

1.  What is clear as one reads the Scripture  is that God's heart desires reconciliation.   If the heart of God is reconciliation how must my heart change toward those who I’ve offended, or toward those who have offended me?

2.  If bridges are to be built in the community what can Shady Grove  do in the upcoming days to build these necessary pathways to connect with those not connected?

3.  Write a prayer and ask God to help you become a bridge builder:



4. Has God brought to mind anyone you need to reach out too?

Let’s pray to become the kind of people who put ourselves in the middle, shoulder the debt, spend our friendship capital, keep Jesus on the throne, and trust God to finish the work. 

That’s how bridges get built and the gospel advances.